It is the simple things in life that are always the most shocking and distressing when they leave. I was taking a shower Sunday morning. Just washing my hair and getting ready to go to church with Carly. I run my fingers through my curls and my hand returns with a massive ball of hair in my palm. I knew this would happen. The nurse said it would. The doctor said it would. Memaw said it would. I told myself it would. However, that moment when it happened, I thought it wouldn't. Most people that I told that I would lose my hair would just laugh it off and say, "ah thats no big deal." And really it isn't. I am a guy. My culture would not look at me oddly for being a male with no hair. I told this to myself. I have many colleagues and peers who shave their head regularly. But in that moment when I had my own hair in my hand, it felt different. It was tough. And the hair kept coming. More and more came with each pass of my hand. It also didn't help that "Let It Go" from Frozen was blaring on our speaker in the bathroom while this was happening. I couldn't believe it. So at that moment I knew two things. First I knew that I was going to be bald soon. Second I knew that the chemo was doing its job.
I lasted one day with falling hair. Monday night Carly and I traveled to the only hair stylist that was working that evening so it seemed. She just happened to be the daughter of one of Carly's PA schoolmates. God is constantly doing things like that. So I walked to her and just said, "so I am on chemotherapy and my hair is falling out." She took the news like a champ and now I am in possession of a much shorter look. My hair is gone and that is shocking. I no longer have the need for shampoo, hair gel, or comb. It is much colder outside with no hair. Hats actually fit me now. My wife still thinks I am handsome.
I often compared myself to a worship song that was extremely popular when I was in high school. The Heart of Worship. The lyrics said, "when the music fades, all is stripped away and I simply come." This is in reference to the fact that Christians today sometimes make a spectacle of worship. The worship then becomes the focus instead of the one we are worshipping. I always heard the song differently. I heard the song as me coming to the heart of Christ. He strips away all the nonsense, sin, and barriers that I put in the way so that He can enter in and mend me. How can I not look into the mirror and hear that every time I see my reflection. My hair loss is such a reminder that the stuff here on Earth is fleeting. It is a reminder that I don't need that stuff. I don't need hair. I need Christ. I need healing and not just the physical kind. Remember to hang on to the real things that are important and forget what the world thinks. What do they know anyway?
"This world has nothing for me and this world has everything. All that I could want and nothing that I need." - Caedmon's Call
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21
On a side note, I did have one student come up to me last week and said very seriously, "Mr. Yelverton, when you lose your hair, don't start selling meth." Don't worry everyone, I am not going Walter White, but I am going to grow velcro again.